I Quit (and Why It’s a Good Thing)


I quit

So who would have thought I’d quit my business after B-School? Yup. I’m building the *wrong* business for me and the right business for all those well intentioned people who told me I’d be so good at that life coaching thing. Honestly, I don’t want to coach people. I want to write books and take pictures of flowers and butterflies.

Let me back up a bit and explain

For years well meaning people have been telling me that I’d be really good at this life coaching thing. Somehow those words got stuck in my head and in 2008 I started an online coaching and support business for women in the precarious role of stepmom.

From the day I started I began having this amazing and daunting love / hate relationship with my business. Yes, I was good at. I have testimonials from gobs of women saying how much I helped them. Awesome. I don’t take those emails lightly – from the bottom of my heart – I appreciate them.

But helping other people, coaching other people *is* HARD. Most of the time I never got the full story. A lot of the time people wanted me to validate and agree with them – even when they were being bratty.

My best clients were the ones who hated me at first. Because I called them out on their puppy doo. They’d go away for awhile but most of them would come back ready to do the work they wanted to do to begin with.

Exhausting.

I thought if I rebranded from The Stepmom’s Toolbox to Frazzled to Fabulous, things would be different. It’s not really. Same stuff different headline.

Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something you love is called passion.

In February I made the risky leap and signed up for Marie Forleo’s B-School. B-School is an online business program for creative entrepreneurs. I don’t know how much of an entrepreneur I really am. Do I have what it takes? Sure. But without going through the modules about building the right business and creating my ideal client, I never would have realized that I’m simply barking up the wrong tree. I’d rather be writing books and taking pictures more than trying to build a business coaching clients. I don’t need or want a coaching business – I am not worried about cash flow.

I have a good career in Information Technology. I earn 6 figures. I received a really nice bonus 6 weeks ago. (I mean, really nice.) And here I am busting my ass on an online business that I do not have the passion or desire to do.

I quit

  • No more coaching.
  • No more podcasts.
  • No more programs.

Nope.

And suddenly, the hills are alive with the sound of music…oh wait, wrong movie…

Seriously, that’s how I feel. The spaciousness that suddenly opened up inside my head and my heart. The angels I hear – laughing their asses off – because by golly, the girl finally gets IT.

It’s like Holy Shit Bat Fans!

What does this girl really really really want to do when she grows up?

  • Hang here.
  • Write books.
  • Create Daily Fab messages.
  • Take pictures.
  • Travel the world.
  • Love abundantly.
  • Teach & Practice yoga.
  • Practice Muay Thai.
  • Be a good person.
  • Do good work.

No where in that list is coach people. Or build a kick ass website. Or grow an astronomical list. Or do something just because someone told you you’d be good at it. Or not do something because someone told you you weren’t that good at it.

Yeah.

This feels more than right.

Peace out
Cub Scout

😉

xxxoooo

What about you? Have you ever quit something and felt really, really good about it? What opened up for you?

Author: Peggy Nolan

Writer. Quote Junkie. Photographer. Yogini. Black Belt.

24 thoughts on “I Quit (and Why It’s a Good Thing)”

  1. Love it, Peggy, you go girl, you will be the best in anything you choose to do!!! I am so proud to call you my friend and “sista”!!!!!

  2. Hey Peggy – I already told you over in B-School that I am really proud of you for taking that big step! I had come to a similar decision regarding coaching one-on-one. I wanted to congratulate you on this blog – so well written. Just reading this blog makes me feel fancy-free!

    1. Marni – I was so excited to see that you are also a B-Schooler! I very much appreciate your kind words here and over at B-School. I had no idea this blog post would have such a huge impact in my little world. I’m excited about where I’m going next!

      1. …and isn’t it fun that you are having such a huge impact and reach in a blog about your decision to pull back a little! LOL. I think the real reason you are having such impact is because you decided to be authentically who you are – and that is always attractive! 🙂

      2. It is fun in a weird, surreal sort of way. I wasn’t expecting this but it’s as if a football stadium filled with angels stood up and cheered 🙂

        Maybe it was the decision to shed a hidden belief, a subconscious program based on the expectations of others and the well meaning words of supportive people.

        Thanks Marni. I so appreciate your kind words and support!

  3. Awesome Peggy and speaks right to my heart. love this Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something you love is called passion. Thank you

    1. Thank you Suzie. I never in a million years would have thought quitting was the best thing I could do. I should quit more often 😉 It really is time for me to shed through the layers, grab the core, and run wild 🙂

  4. I quit my bellydance troupe for last year because it was taking up too much of my time between performances, practices, promotion for events. It kinda went from being a fun hobby to being a job and so although I still dance a lot at home, being out of the group for now works best for me.

    I may go back to it in the future but for right now, I need to focus on my (writing) work and being the best mom I can be, plus a few other things.

    Congrats to you and your new found joy!

  5. Quitting for a strong reason is not abandoning but it’s a powerful show of commitment for a greater cause. I already quit my part-time job soon after starting a blog and now I am nearing my blog earning equal to my full time job and seriously thinking to quit it just to do blogging for full-time. Actually every rational quit has huge reward sooner or later. We just need to be confident of our decision with dedication to the cause for which we quit a prior activity.
    Wonderful post Peggy Nolan. I do appreciate your spirit of doing life.

  6. Following your heart is never wrong! And life coach or not, your experience as a stepmom will still be part of your every day life. It’s in your blood. 🙂 I started an all women’s photography group on Facebook. Five members grew to 600 in two years. It got way too much for me and I stepped down. Tough to do, but I have no regrets. 🙂 good luck to you! Happy trails!

    1. I’m beginning to believe we do things for a season. To learn what we need to learn, share, and grow from the experience. For sure, I’ll be writing about being a stepmom just not in the same way as before 🙂 thank you Angelia! 💗

  7. Hi Peggy, found you through Sandra Pawula. I so completely relate to what you’re expressing. I too have a lucrative day job and, in the past, have been extremely stressed and busy building an online business. But finally I said “Enough!” to striving online. I realized I fallen into a culture that actually made me feel bad about not being an entrepreneur. I knew quitting my day job wasn’t smart or realistic at my age and I just wanted to write books and take pictures of nature :).

    For me now it’s all about slow — slow food, slow blogging, slow travel (love that movement). I wish you the best on this new journey and look forward to following it!

    P.S. I used to teach Jeet Kune Do, which included a health dose of Muy Thai.

    1. It’s so nice to find another kindred spirit, Debra! Like you, I’m done striving for that online business and refuse to be shamed for not being an entrepreneur. I need to know more about this slow travel thing – that sounds like something right up my husband’s and my alley! And as for blogging, I totally agree – it’s the slow blog route for me, too. And I’m finding out through another one of my mentors, Jon Morrow, that in this case, less is definitely more. Twice a month, I’ll post something here. And what I’ve found by slowing down the blog, more people can stop, read, bookmark, and come back to read the same post later, especially if it rings true for them. Thank you Debra – I can’t wait to get to know you better and find out what Later Bloomer is all about (because I obviously fit the later bloomer sentiment!) Here’s to a bright new friendship!

  8. Hi Peggy, this is fantastic! YAY for being true to yourself – for embracing what feels right, dropping what doesn’t, and honouring YOU in the process. You must feel free and light as a feather. Your future is going to unfold in beautiful, fun and unexpected new ways.

    By the way, I’m a fellow B-Schooler! I learned about Marie and her program just a few weeks before registration, and kept getting intuitive hits telling me I had to do the program. So I went for it. No looking back! Isn’t it amazing for gaining clarity?

    So glad we’ve connected!

    1. I’m thrilled that we’ve connected Christine! Always love meeting fellow BSchoolers!

      This gift of quitting I gave to myself has freed up so much head space, not to mention heart space! I’m excited because it feels like it opened the door to creativity.

      Thank you for stopping by and connecting!

  9. What you list here are some of the reasons I did not become a psychologist after all. You cannot help those who don’t really want to get help, and who are not being honest about the situation. On the other hand, I still love connecting and exchanging ideas, and most of the time, we all end up growing from it. 🙂

    1. I love connecting and exchanging ideas, too! That’s the beauty of following my heart to unleash my creative spirit in writing and photography and build relationships through stories and images that create connection 🙂

      Thank you for stopping by today Julie! It’s great to meet you!

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