How Small Changes Make Big Differences

Until one is committed there’s hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative, and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

The moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves, too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events come from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamt would come his or her way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s concepts:

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, Begin It. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

—W.H. Murray

Once I gave over to truly committing myself to my choices, to my decisions, to my countless ideas, Providence has never failed me.

Boldness truly, deeply, really has genius, power, and magic in it. Especially when you surrender your attachment to the outcome.

Yoga is my daily practice of non-attachment. It helps me partner with my ego rather than succumb to the drama of doubt and fear which my ego is an expert at creating. My ego wants to protect me from shame and failure.

My ego wants to stop me from doing anything it perceives as dangerous so if it catches me hesitating, you can bet I’m sitting my ass back on the couch and doing nothing. Nada. Ego breathes a sigh of relief and goes back to sleep.

My soul and deepest desires want me to be full in, committed to my acts of initiative and creation. So it’s critical that I act or speak up before I hesitate. And the way I trick myself into bold, creative action is to tell myself “it’s an experiment.”

Ever since I started experimenting with this concept, magic started. Every time I commit myself to a course of action or an idea, amazing things happen.

Mel Robbins talks about this concept in this must watch interview on The 5 Second Rule. And no, it’s not about eating food that’s dropped to the floor.

Seriously, I had no idea that scientific research has actually been done on when one takes action before hesitation sets in. Like Mel, I thought this was my little secret. What I didn’t know was the science behind shaking up my own habit loops.

Obviously Mr. Murray knew all about this, too. Otherwise, he never would have attempted to summit Mt. Everest.

We don’t have to attempt massive undertakings like climbing Mt. Everest. Sometimes our most massive shifts happen when we tackle the mundane and the ordinary. For Mel Robbins, it started with not hitting the snooze button.

Four years ago I made a shift that made a huge difference: I started waking up an hour earlier every morning. I went from lying to myself that I’d go to the gym after work or that I’d write a novel after work or that I would <insert some lofty aspiration> to actually getting shit done BEFORE I went to work.

  • I co-authored 5 Amazon Best selling books.
  • I self-published an Amazon best selling book of poetry.
  • I practiced yoga every damn day. (Still do)
  • My morning time has become my starting trigger to ground and center myself, before the demands of the day come rushing in.

The first two weeks sucked. Transitioning from night owl to a morning lark made me sleep deprived. Not only was I changing how I did my mornings but I was also changing my night time behavior. A few days of sleep deprivation were worth it.

4 years later, my morning routine continues to evolve. I’ve recently added teaching two yoga classes a week. Bright and early, before I go to work.

I use my morning time to create art or work on a crochet project.

I guard this time like a mama bear guards her cubs.

And I’m about to experiment with way bigger things than getting up an hour or two earlier. Now that waking up when others are hitting the snooze button is a routine loop, it’s time for me to shake up my small experiments. My brain sees these experiments as safe.

Keep an eye out for something bigger here. And hold me to it.

Meanwhile, what small changes have you made that have made a big difference in your life?

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What If Your Goals Are A Distraction

It’s that time of year again where everyone is planning and goal setting for 2018.

Yearly goals. Quarterly goals. Monthly goals. Daily goals. SMART goals. Financial goals. Personal goals.

I know. I know! Goals we set are goals we get. I’m an overachieving goal setter.

Every once in awhile, when the fog of goal setting clears, I get an image of a silly hamster running round and round…going nowhere fast. And it hits me. I’m the hamster.

There’s a couple of questions I asked myself this time last year:

1. What if my goals are a distraction?

2. What if my goals aren’t really *my*goals?

3. What would happen if I didn’t make any goals?

Trust me, I hear the sound of nails on a chalk board when I ask myself these questions. I also get slightly nauseous and a little bit anxious.

I’ve been taught so much about setting goals and why goals are so important to get ahead…to succeed.

Where exactly is ahead? What exactly do I need to be ahead of? What was I chasing? And why was it so elusive and vague?

I’ve spent the better part of this year answering my own questions.

I began 2017 without setting any particular goal. I decided to go with the flow and see where I ended up. Not haphazardly. It was a rather purposeful decision. And to be honest, probably the best and most productive decision I’ve made in a long time.

Here’s why:

At the very end of 2016, Rick and I drove to Key West and spent 2 wonderful months there. We rented a house on Rockland Key (mile marker 9) and while we were there, we came to a profound, life altering conclusion…we did not miss our stuff.

We drove down with a small trailer that had our motorcycle, clothes, my yarn and art supplies, and a few kitchen items. We didn’t miss what we left behind.

About half way through our 2 month stay, we made the decision to get rid of our stuff and sell our home.

We put a plan in place. We decided when we wanted to put the house on the market and we worked the calendar backward from there. We had a very short window to make small repairs and clear out the crap that had been sitting in our basement and garage for years.

We also went to Ireland for 10 days and then to Utah for 6 days. When all was said and done, our house went on the market on the Friday before Memorial Day.

Our desire was an offer for full asking price and no contingencies.

2 1/2 days later, we had an offer for full asking price and no contingencies. We gratefully accepted.

Now it was our turn to find a place. Rick and I had what I call a “whiteboard session.” We met for 2 hours in front of my whiteboard wall and wrote down all our MUSTS. Or what we like to call our “non-negotiables.”

We wrote down everything our new place must have. We wrote down every town we’d be willing to relocate to. We wrote down the dollar value we were willing to expend each month. We also wrote down what we wanted to save. We wrote down that we were willing to take out a small mortgage if we *had* to. What we wanted, more than anything, was to be able to pay cash.

After we wrote it all down, we left it there for 2 days. And then I erased it. We didn’t share what we wrote down with anyone.

Within 48 hours of erasing the board, my father sent me a link for a home his agent was about to list. I had goose bumps all over. It was everything we wrote down that was a must, it was in our same town, and we could pay cash for it outright.

The only catch that both of us had to get over in a big hurry was that it’s a double wide in a “garden home” community.

We went from 1600 sq. feet to 1400 square feet. We went from 2 floors to 1. We went from no master bathroom to a gorgeous master bathroom. We went from closed off spaces to a wide open, cathedral ceiling, spacious living area. We went from having a basement and 2 garage (or as my husband says, a very expensive storage unit) to having a parking spot big enough for both our vehicles and right now, a covered motorcycle.

We went from $1710 a month in living expenses (mortgage + condo fee) to $510 in lot rent. We’re pocketing $1200 a month because we have no mortgage. We have a 6.5 year ROI on our home.

Part of our Key West plan also included buying an RV so we could spend the winter in 2018 at the naval base, where military retirees and active duty can stay for $14 per day. We’re pushing this part off a year so we can finish remodeling our new place.

We’ve been nesting in our new place since August 1, 2017.

I honestly don’t think we’d be here if I had set goals the way I have all my adult life. This is where going with the flow took us. Awareness, being present, noticing, witnessing without judgment led us to a life transforming change.

Goal setting, the way I had been goal setting my whole life, turned out to be my biggest distraction from my Heart’s deepest desires. Goal setting kept me trapped on the hamster wheel, chasing after success and tilting at windmills.

In fact, goal setting kept my long time desire for financial freedom just out of reach.

I got out of my own way long enough for the Universe to work her magic.

Nobody owns us anymore. Not my job. Not our mortgage lender. Nobody.

Going into 2018, I’m not setting any goals or making New Year’s resolutions. I’m going with the flow again and I’m excited to see what shows up.

What about you? How are you approaching the New Year?

8 Tips for a Fabulous Life

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Change is HARD. Change takes TIME. Change requires CONSISTENT EFFORT. Just ask the butterfly.

We all mean well when we say we’re going to do it, when we say we’re going to change the behaviors that no longer serve us. Where nearly most of us fall down is in the discipline, the focus, and the stick-to-it-ness to see our changes take root and bear fruit. I believe most of us really, truly want to live a fabulous life.

Consistent Effort and Practice = Your Fabulous Life

I don’t recommend tackling every single change all at once. You’ll end up overwhelmed and most likely will throw in the towel before you even start. Pick one change to focus on. Practice it until it becomes your new habit. Practice it until you no longer feel uncomfortable or guilty. No doubt when you start, you will feel uncomfortable. You may make others uncomfortable. That’s OK. Change is like that. It’s about moving out of your comfort zone so you can create the life you want.

8 Tips for a Fabulous Life

#1 Say no when you mean no

#2 Say yes when you mean yes

So what’s going on with 1 and 2? I’m glad you asked. Most people run into problems when they say “yes” when they really mean “no.” Every single time I used to do that, I’d seethe underneath my skin. Yes, there are times when you really do have to take out the trash, that’s not what I’m talking about. This is about doing something for someone else that they perceive as important and urgent and you neglect what’s important and urgent for you. Make sense?

#3 Let others do for themselves that which they can do for themselves

#4 Give up care taking – it doesn’t work

When we do for others that which they can do for themselves, we send a silent but crippling message “I don’t believe you are capable of doing that by yourself or for yourself.”

#5 Perfectionism is the greatest con on earth – you are already perfect in every way

#6 What you allow will continue until you decide it’s not worth allowing

#7 Speak up for yourself because no one else will

#8 Make yourself a priority – others will follow your lead

YOU matter. Make yourself count and be heard!


If you agree with these tips for a fabulous life, I’d like to share two more:

#9 Sign up for your Daily Spoonful of Fab

#10 Enroll in my free 3 week introductory program, Manifesting the Life of Your Dreams.