How Small Changes Make Big Differences

Until one is committed there’s hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative, and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

The moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves, too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events come from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamt would come his or her way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s concepts:

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, Begin It. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

—W.H. Murray

Once I gave over to truly committing myself to my choices, to my decisions, to my countless ideas, Providence has never failed me.

Boldness truly, deeply, really has genius, power, and magic in it. Especially when you surrender your attachment to the outcome.

Yoga is my daily practice of non-attachment. It helps me partner with my ego rather than succumb to the drama of doubt and fear which my ego is an expert at creating. My ego wants to protect me from shame and failure.

My ego wants to stop me from doing anything it perceives as dangerous so if it catches me hesitating, you can bet I’m sitting my ass back on the couch and doing nothing. Nada. Ego breathes a sigh of relief and goes back to sleep.

My soul and deepest desires want me to be full in, committed to my acts of initiative and creation. So it’s critical that I act or speak up before I hesitate. And the way I trick myself into bold, creative action is to tell myself “it’s an experiment.”

Ever since I started experimenting with this concept, magic started. Every time I commit myself to a course of action or an idea, amazing things happen.

Mel Robbins talks about this concept in this must watch interview on The 5 Second Rule. And no, it’s not about eating food that’s dropped to the floor.

Seriously, I had no idea that scientific research has actually been done on when one takes action before hesitation sets in. Like Mel, I thought this was my little secret. What I didn’t know was the science behind shaking up my own habit loops.

Obviously Mr. Murray knew all about this, too. Otherwise, he never would have attempted to summit Mt. Everest.

We don’t have to attempt massive undertakings like climbing Mt. Everest. Sometimes our most massive shifts happen when we tackle the mundane and the ordinary. For Mel Robbins, it started with not hitting the snooze button.

Four years ago I made a shift that made a huge difference: I started waking up an hour earlier every morning. I went from lying to myself that I’d go to the gym after work or that I’d write a novel after work or that I would <insert some lofty aspiration> to actually getting shit done BEFORE I went to work.

  • I co-authored 5 Amazon Best selling books.
  • I self-published an Amazon best selling book of poetry.
  • I practiced yoga every damn day. (Still do)
  • My morning time has become my starting trigger to ground and center myself, before the demands of the day come rushing in.

The first two weeks sucked. Transitioning from night owl to a morning lark made me sleep deprived. Not only was I changing how I did my mornings but I was also changing my night time behavior. A few days of sleep deprivation were worth it.

4 years later, my morning routine continues to evolve. I’ve recently added teaching two yoga classes a week. Bright and early, before I go to work.

I use my morning time to create art or work on a crochet project.

I guard this time like a mama bear guards her cubs.

And I’m about to experiment with way bigger things than getting up an hour or two earlier. Now that waking up when others are hitting the snooze button is a routine loop, it’s time for me to shake up my small experiments. My brain sees these experiments as safe.

Keep an eye out for something bigger here. And hold me to it.

Meanwhile, what small changes have you made that have made a big difference in your life?

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I Quit (and Why It’s a Good Thing)

I quit

So who would have thought I’d quit my business after B-School? Yup. I’m building the *wrong* business for me and the right business for all those well intentioned people who told me I’d be so good at that life coaching thing. Honestly, I don’t want to coach people. I want to write books and take pictures of flowers and butterflies.

Let me back up a bit and explain

For years well meaning people have been telling me that I’d be really good at this life coaching thing. Somehow those words got stuck in my head and in 2008 I started an online coaching and support business for women in the precarious role of stepmom.

From the day I started I began having this amazing and daunting love / hate relationship with my business. Yes, I was good at. I have testimonials from gobs of women saying how much I helped them. Awesome. I don’t take those emails lightly – from the bottom of my heart – I appreciate them.

But helping other people, coaching other people *is* HARD. Most of the time I never got the full story. A lot of the time people wanted me to validate and agree with them – even when they were being bratty.

My best clients were the ones who hated me at first. Because I called them out on their puppy doo. They’d go away for awhile but most of them would come back ready to do the work they wanted to do to begin with.


I thought if I rebranded from The Stepmom’s Toolbox to Frazzled to Fabulous, things would be different. It’s not really. Same stuff different headline.

Working hard for something you don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something you love is called passion.

In February I made the risky leap and signed up for Marie Forleo’s B-School. B-School is an online business program for creative entrepreneurs. I don’t know how much of an entrepreneur I really am. Do I have what it takes? Sure. But without going through the modules about building the right business and creating my ideal client, I never would have realized that I’m simply barking up the wrong tree. I’d rather be writing books and taking pictures more than trying to build a business coaching clients. I don’t need or want a coaching business – I am not worried about cash flow.

I have a good career in Information Technology. I earn 6 figures. I received a really nice bonus 6 weeks ago. (I mean, really nice.) And here I am busting my ass on an online business that I do not have the passion or desire to do.

I quit

  • No more coaching.
  • No more podcasts.
  • No more programs.


And suddenly, the hills are alive with the sound of music…oh wait, wrong movie…

Seriously, that’s how I feel. The spaciousness that suddenly opened up inside my head and my heart. The angels I hear – laughing their asses off – because by golly, the girl finally gets IT.

It’s like Holy Shit Bat Fans!

What does this girl really really really want to do when she grows up?

  • Hang here.
  • Write books.
  • Create Daily Fab messages.
  • Take pictures.
  • Travel the world.
  • Love abundantly.
  • Teach & Practice yoga.
  • Practice Muay Thai.
  • Be a good person.
  • Do good work.

No where in that list is coach people. Or build a kick ass website. Or grow an astronomical list. Or do something just because someone told you you’d be good at it. Or not do something because someone told you you weren’t that good at it.


This feels more than right.

Peace out
Cub Scout



What about you? Have you ever quit something and felt really, really good about it? What opened up for you?