You Attract What You Are

you-do-not-attract-into-your-life-what-you-want-you-attract-what-you-are

“You do not attract into your life what you want. You attract what you are.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Too often people go through life looking for someone else to fill a void when in fact, if you learn to fill your own void, your own holes, you become whole.

And when you become whole you will attract what you are into your life.

If you want others to respect you, learn to respect yourself so you can teach others to respect you.

If you want others to appreciate you, learn to appreciate yourself so you can teach others how to appreciate you.

If you want others to treat you well, learn to treat yourself well so you can teach others how to treat you.

If you want someone to love you to the moon and back, learn to love yourself to the moon and back so you can teach that special someone how to love you to the moon and back.

We teach others how to respect, appreciate, treat, and love us by how we respect, appreciate, treat, and love ourselves.

No one is going to respect you, appreciate you, value you, or love you the way you want them to until you respect, appreciate, value, and love yourself exactly the way you want to be respected, appreciated, valued, and loved.

Capiche? 😉

The moment I learned and I mean really learned this invaluable life lesson, everything changed. I stopped looking out there for things or people to fill my holes. In fact, I became the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

***

You’re invited to join me and my co-teacher, Chris Vasiliadis, on March 18, 2017 for a fantastic half-day workshop, Master Your Midlife for Women.

Midlife is a time of transition and transformation – kids grow up and are off to college, menopause begins, life shifts in a variety of ways and not always the way we expect them to. Chris and I are here to help you navigate this precious and sometimes precarious time in your life.

Space is limited. Register today.

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Transformation Happens

transformation-happens

The time will never be right
The conditions will never be perfect
And no matter your education or how many certificates
you have on your wall
or letters after your name
you’ll never feel ready

Ready to leap
Ready to live life on your terms
Ready to fly
Ready to live your purpose

Ready or not
willing or not
transformation happens

And it happens so you can take flight
spread your wings
and shine your light

***

You’re invited to join me and my co-teacher, Chris Vasiliadis, on March 18, 2017 for a fantastic half-day workshop, Master Your Midlife for Women.

Midlife is a time of transition and transformation – kids grow up and are off to college, menopause begins, life shifts in a variety of ways and not always the way we expect them to. Chris and I are here to help you navigate this precious and sometimes precarious time in your life.

Space is limited. Register today.

master-your-midlife-for-women_saturday-march-18-2017

You’re Invited to Master Your Midlife For Women on March 18, 2017!

master-your-midlife-for-women

Master Your Midlife for Women: A Half Day Wellness Workshop

Cultivating Creativity, Clarity, and Connection

I hear from so many women that they feel stuck, trapped, overwhelmed, and spread too thin with the demands of everyday life.

I get this. I’ve been there. I remember having to-do lists that stretched into next year. I remember soccer practices, softball games, tight deadlines at work, and a marriage that imploded after nineteen years.

I remember hearing, “you have breast cancer,” and I realized that I could no longer live my life the way I was living it.

My workshop co-leader, Chris Vasiliadis, remembers being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and she realized she could no longer function the way she used to and needed a new way to live happier and healthier life.

We both had to take our lives off autopilot and overhaul them in a major way.

The last thing we want for you is to reach the same boiling point that we did.

What we hear from women is that they are seeking a life that flows with ease and a sense of freedom. Perhaps you do, too.

If so, you also want to take your life off autopilot.

  • You want to make clear choices.
  • You want to be able to express what you need and what you truly desire.
  • You want a sharp sense of purpose.
  • You want to live your life more from intention than habit.
  • You want a safe place to explore your creativity, your why’s, your dreams, and what keeps you up at night.
  • You want to learn how to trust yourself again – you want to trust your own wisdom, insight, and intuition.
  • And you want to connect with a tribe of compassionate and caring women without drama and judgment.

If this sounds like you, we’d like to invite you to participate in Master Your Midlife for Women.

This isn’t a program or a class in the traditional sense of the word. Master Your Midlife for Women is a daily practice and it’s something Chris and I have been practicing for over a decade.

Attendees can expect:

  • To be stretched metaphorically and physically.
  • 60 minutes of gentle and restorative yoga.
  • Clarity in the choices and decisions you make that are right for you, which means a happier, more fulfilled you.
  • Connection with other women in a similar phase.
  • Creative prompts to help you uncover your priorities, which means you won’t feel like you’re living on autopilot.
  • Strategies to cultivate the energy that best serves your priorities.
  • A private and safe space to share your thoughts and breakthroughs.
  • You’ll be able to rest with what is, recharge, and reset.
  • You’ll return home with an action plan to immediately begin applying mastery into your life.

While we can’t guarantee you that suddenly and miraculously all your problems will be solved overnight, we can provide you the structure, space, and support to uncover your own answers to mastering your midlife.

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For an investment of 4 hours and $67, you can be on your way.

It’s super easy to register:

Visit Dragonfly Wellness Center to register or call Dragonfly Wellness Center, (978) 487-7181.

You will need to bring your yoga mat, journal or notebook, and your favorite groovy pen.

Learn more about your workshop leaders:

Visit Peggy Nolan’s website, Pathways to Possibility and

Visit Chris Vasiliadis’ website, Priority Wellness.

The Magnificent Power of Art

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I need to talk to you about art and creativity.
I need to talk to about this painting I bought yesterday.
I need to tell you why I bought it
and what the artist, Jeanine Maes, said to me.

And after I bought the painting and walked down Duval Street, I ran into my favorite street artist, Jean Paul. I have several pieces of his art in my home.

And I need to tell you what he said to me after I told him I started painting and that I’ve sold 5 of my paintings.

I need to tell you that he gently took my hand and hugged me fiercely.

I need to tell you why I bought this painting.
In this engulfing moment of majesty, regal protector, angelic divine light.
So much in this work of art.

I need to tell you why I bought this painting.
Where do I start?

When You Make Better Choices You Receive Better Results

better-choices-better-results

I’ve been thinking a lot about choices lately. Specifically the choices I’ve made and any future choices I will make.

Whether you think you have them or not, we all have choices.

You can choose to stay or walk away.

You can choose to be kind or unkind.

You can choose to be happy or miserable.

You can choose to eat salad or a box of cookies.

You can choose to go for a walk or sit on the couch.

You can choose to save a little of every paycheck or spend it.

You can choose to have one margarita or ten.

Your life is a menu of choices

Some choices are bigger than others. Some choices are no brainers.

It’s a beautiful warm sunny. I can stay home and do laundry or I can go to the beach or lake. Um. Yeah. I’m going to the beach. I can do laundry later. Easy choice.

I once made the choice to accept a job offer in Alabama. There’s nothing wrong with Alabama. There was nothing wrong with the job. In fact, the job was pretty darn awesome. Everything about the choice was wrong for me. I never made a u-turn so fast in all my life. I drove down there from my home state of New Hampshire only to turn around and drive back within 24 hours.

A wise 18 year old once told me, “No decision is ever permanent.”

I remember struggling with my cancer treatment choices. Especially radiation. After mastectomy and pathology and the initial read out of the results, radiation was left off the treatment menu. But then, during my second to last round of chemo my oncologist delivered the bad news.

The tumor board at Dana Farber reviewed my results three times. After the third review, the board recommended radiation.

I balked.

No. I do not choose radiation. I just want to be done.

My oncologist made an appointment for me with a radiation oncologist at Dana Farber. I listened to her recommendation for radiation but still…no. I choose no.

The radiation oncologist suggested I meet with a colleague of hers, another radiation oncologist at a hospital much closer to where I live. I agreed to meet with her. The radiation oncologist at Elliot Medical Center met with me for 90 minutes. She’s blonde. She’s young. She’s wicked smaht (that’s New England speak for really smart).

And she told me, “if you were my sister or my mom, I’d want you to do this.”

Well. When you put it that way, okay. So I changed my no to a yes.

Nobody was going to make me have radiation. I wasn’t obligated nor did I “have” to. I chose to. In fact, all of my medical decisions around breast cancer were entirely my decisions…my choices. I wanted to make sure cancer knew I had a clear “no vacancy” sign in my body. And I wanted to live another 45 or 50 years.

(And it just dawned on me that I’m 13 years into my 45 or 50 years of living more life.)

Before breast cancer I saw my life as a series of never ending obligations. After breast cancer I saw my life as a smorgasbord of choices and “get to’s” rather than “have to’s.”

I get to go to work.

I get to see my family.

I get to do the laundry.

I get another chance.

I get to work out.

I get to drink my fiber drink.

I get to pay my mortgage.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last 13 years, it’s this:

When you make better choices you receive better results.

When you’re clear about what you truly desire, the choices you make bring you closer to the outcomes you truly desire.

2017 is a blank slate. What will you choose to do? Who will you choose to be?

Releasing Myself From The Judgement of Others (and myself)

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I’ve always felt a little weird about the pretty things I make.

What will others think?

Is it good enough?

What if she hates it?

Why bother? You’re not that good anyway…

And so much blah, blah, boring blah.

Silly me. I listened to this horse hooey in my head.

And so I hid my creativity. Or I pursued creative projects when no one was looking. I remember making loads of baby blankets about 16 years ago due to a small baby boom among people I knew at work.

Critical voices played with my own self-doubt. I questioned whether or not I was creative or if what I crocheted was embarrassing. I doubted my ability to write or snap a halfway decent photograph of a sunset.

Echos from the past that crop up from time to time aren’t anyone’s issue but my own.

My self-doubt flew in the face of factual evidence. My judge and jury ran amok and stomped all over my desire to create.

And it took me years to release my self-doubt. And quiet the voices in my past.

I began by taking the words of Anne  Lamont to heart,

“it’s a shitty first draft.”

I embraced the wise words of Andy Warhol,

“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”

I calmed my self-doubt and inner judge by convincing her that writing and painting and crocheting are all just one big experiment.

Art is practice. Creativity is practice. It’s not about right or wrong or good or bad.

It’s about showing up day in and day out.

It’s about remaining open to all the infinite possibilities.

It’s about being curious.

And the more I practice, the better I get.

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The other morning, I received this email from a woman who was gifted a hat and scarf set that I made:

“Dear Peggy,

I am the fortunate recipient of a hat and scarf “crocheted with love” by you. My niece Colleen gave me a set for Christmas. You do very fine work and since it is done with love I just know it will be a very welcome addition to my outdoor gear during this coming winter weather.”

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I also received a message from my niece letting me know that her oldest daughter went to bed wearing the messy bun hat I made and gave to her for Christmas.

My friend, Tae Lynn, who bought one of my paintings shared it with the world on Facebook.

I’ve been commissioned to crochet a blanket.

And I’ll be adding more inventory to my Etsy shop – cowls, infinity scarves, messy bun and pony tail hats, and regular hats that are closed at the top.

So to the voices in my head who told me I sucked, meh. I’m over it. There’s way too much evidence that proves I don’t suck.

And to the me who believed my inner critic, thank you for finally releasing the bull shit. Because that’s what it is. It’s my own mind cacka. It doesn’t matter what someone else said. It’s not the critic who counts – even the internal critic! It’s about me getting out of my own way, getting out of my own head game.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
~ President Theodore Roosevelt

You can bet your arse I’ll be daring greatly and getting out of my own way.

I’m releasing myself from the bondage of judgment – yours, mine (mostly mine), and everyone else.

2017 is going to be one hell of an uncomplicated and creative year.

What are you leaving behind in 2016?

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My Word For 2017 – UNCOMPLICATED

Photo by Peggy Nolan

Photo by Peggy Nolan

Every year around the end of December, I select one word or a phrase that will serve as my guide post for the coming year. In the past I’ve chosen words like:

  • Determination
  • Focus
  • Clarity
  • Perseverance

These are good words and have served me well. In the past few months these words have become part of my new perspective:

  • Possibility
  • Creativity
  • Clarity
  • Connection
  • Meander

In fact, I was called to meander for most of the last 3 months.
As I meandered, my mind wandered
and I had ideas and thoughts about creating something brand new,
Pathways To Possibility,
and low and behold,
I was following the same mold
and as I watched it unfold,
I fell in the same old hole…again.
And the definition of insanity clearly came to mind.

And then my website croaked
and my external hard drive broke

and I said fuck it.

I want ease
I want grace
I want UNCOMPLICATED

I want to write
I want to paint
I want to crochet

I want UNCOMPLICATED

The only person whose been complicating things is me. Monkey mind loves to complicate things. I am so done making things harder for myself. I’m so done being distracted by the next best shiny thing.

In 2016 I took on one outside project. In 2017 I’m taking on NONE.

I’m imposing my terms upon life and as God as my witness, these terms will be UNCOMPLICATED 🙂

Have you chosen a word for 2017? If you have, please share in the comments what your word is and why you chose it.