It’s Okay To Say “No”

Saying No

Hang on. One more thing.

I want to tell you about saying, “No.”

and being completely uncomfortable
anxious
worried sick
sick to your stomach

that you’ll be seen as
the bad daughter
the ugly sister
the bitchy wife
the “once upon a time” friend

and your insides feel like goo
sloshing around
and you seriously doubt your skin
will hold your innards in

and you think for a moment
about saying, “yes,” and that makes you

tremble and shake

as bile rises from the pit of your stomach to the top of your throat

and you know
you know
you know
you must say, “no”

and so you do
face to face
because over the phone is so uncool

and you tell your father or brother or partner or bestie

you tell him, “no”

and nothing you imagined happening
happens

All that worry
and pacing
and hand wringing
was all for nothing

and you go on

eating dinner

and talking about how cold it is this winter and your plans to be someplace warmer soon.

***

My poem “Saying No” poured out of me from a writing prompt in Laurie Wagner’s Wild Writing. Check out her program. I highly recommend it!

***

Wine After Yoga was a huge success! As so many of you said, “it was the perfect afternoon!”

Huge thanks to Cask and Vine for taking such good care of our group!

Stay tuned for the next Wine After Yoga event!

How Small Changes Make Big Differences

Until one is committed there’s hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative, and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:

The moment one definitely commits oneself then Providence moves, too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events come from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no one could have dreamt would come his or her way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s concepts:

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, Begin It. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

—W.H. Murray

Once I gave over to truly committing myself to my choices, to my decisions, to my countless ideas, Providence has never failed me.

Boldness truly, deeply, really has genius, power, and magic in it. Especially when you surrender your attachment to the outcome.

Yoga is my daily practice of non-attachment. It helps me partner with my ego rather than succumb to the drama of doubt and fear which my ego is an expert at creating. My ego wants to protect me from shame and failure.

My ego wants to stop me from doing anything it perceives as dangerous so if it catches me hesitating, you can bet I’m sitting my ass back on the couch and doing nothing. Nada. Ego breathes a sigh of relief and goes back to sleep.

My soul and deepest desires want me to be full in, committed to my acts of initiative and creation. So it’s critical that I act or speak up before I hesitate. And the way I trick myself into bold, creative action is to tell myself “it’s an experiment.”

Ever since I started experimenting with this concept, magic started. Every time I commit myself to a course of action or an idea, amazing things happen.

Mel Robbins talks about this concept in this must watch interview on The 5 Second Rule. And no, it’s not about eating food that’s dropped to the floor.

Seriously, I had no idea that scientific research has actually been done on when one takes action before hesitation sets in. Like Mel, I thought this was my little secret. What I didn’t know was the science behind shaking up my own habit loops.

Obviously Mr. Murray knew all about this, too. Otherwise, he never would have attempted to summit Mt. Everest.

We don’t have to attempt massive undertakings like climbing Mt. Everest. Sometimes our most massive shifts happen when we tackle the mundane and the ordinary. For Mel Robbins, it started with not hitting the snooze button.

Four years ago I made a shift that made a huge difference: I started waking up an hour earlier every morning. I went from lying to myself that I’d go to the gym after work or that I’d write a novel after work or that I would <insert some lofty aspiration> to actually getting shit done BEFORE I went to work.

  • I co-authored 5 Amazon Best selling books.
  • I self-published an Amazon best selling book of poetry.
  • I practiced yoga every damn day. (Still do)
  • My morning time has become my starting trigger to ground and center myself, before the demands of the day come rushing in.

The first two weeks sucked. Transitioning from night owl to a morning lark made me sleep deprived. Not only was I changing how I did my mornings but I was also changing my night time behavior. A few days of sleep deprivation were worth it.

4 years later, my morning routine continues to evolve. I’ve recently added teaching two yoga classes a week. Bright and early, before I go to work.

I use my morning time to create art or work on a crochet project.

I guard this time like a mama bear guards her cubs.

And I’m about to experiment with way bigger things than getting up an hour or two earlier. Now that waking up when others are hitting the snooze button is a routine loop, it’s time for me to shake up my small experiments. My brain sees these experiments as safe.

Keep an eye out for something bigger here. And hold me to it.

Meanwhile, what small changes have you made that have made a big difference in your life?

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Saturday, June 9, 2018

Join Me For Rise and Shine Vinyasa Yoga

Every Monday and Saturday!

The Power of Pause

Sometimes it’s half a breath
or a whole breath

sometimes it’s 10 breaths
or a whole day

a week even

pausing gives you time to think
time to respond
time to remember

pausing gives you space
to adjust your schedule
to remind you
that you can’t be
in two places at once

pausing allows you to step back
assess
reassess
and decline politely

pausing creates space
and space creates time

rest deep inside the pause
where there is no hustle
no hurry
no worry

pause. breathe. release.

(Peggy Nolan, The Power of Pause, November 3,2016)

Upcoming Classes

Upcoming Events

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What Can You Let Go Of Today?

Hold onto integrity

Let go of ego

Hold onto compassion

Let go of judgment

Hold onto calmness

Let go of stress and anxiety

Hold onto the present moment

Let go of worry

Hold onto to your value and worthiness

Let go of your negative self-talk

Holding on

Letting go

It really is a balance

What can you let go of that no longer adds value or serves you?

PS: join me Monday May 28 at 6:30am at The Studio at Derry Massage Therapy and Wellness Center for Rise and Shine Vinyasa flow. This is a free class (May 28 only). We’ll hold on and let go. See you in class!

Wine After Yoga

Join me for my first yoga and wine event! Only 6 spots left. Grab yours today! Cost $35. Includes 75 minute yoga class and your choice of a flight of wine or beer. For non-alcohol yogis, you can choose an appetizer and non-alcoholic beverage not to exceed $20. Cask and Vine will have their brunch menu available!

Wine After Yoga

Yoga Nidra Schedule at Hot Asana Yoga Studio in Hampstead, NH

June 24 at 6PM

July 15 at 6PM

August 12 at 6PM

Use your class pass or $15 for walk-ins.

How Are You Making You A Consistent Priority?

Consistency is a challenge to every yoga practice. Sticking with your practice when you’d rather stay up late, sleep in, or simply skip it just because takes effort and commitment.

It takes Effort to resist the temptation to binge watch one more episode of Stranger Things. Effort to resist hitting the snooze button for the 10th time.

And it takes commitment to you. That’s one of the hardest commitments to make because there’s this weird notion out there that taking care of you is selfish. Let me be clear. Taking care of you needs to be one of your highest priorities. It’s as necessary as oxygen. A nervous, anxious, stressed out you doesn’t do you or anyone you love any good.

This week I’m traveling and I know how much easier it is to not practice. I chose to take 15 minutes and practice asana and ground myself with a simple effective vinyasa flow. I took care of me first. The rest of the day is easy.

How are you making you a consistent priority?

🔆🕉🔆

Upcoming Yoga Classes

Every Monday morning at 6:30am at The Studio at Derry Massage and Wellness. Beginning June 2, 2018 on Saturday mornings at 7am at The Studio at Derry Massage and Wellness.

Upcoming Events

Wine After Yoga

June 9, 2018

Grab Your Ticket!